Andy Borowitz | Trump Collapses From Exhaustion After Ninety Minutes of Faking Empathy




Reader Supported News
31 January 18 PM
It's Live on the HomePage Now:
Reader Supported News

Andy Borowitz | Trump Collapses From Exhaustion After Ninety Minutes of Faking Empathy 
Donald Trump. (photo: Jim Lo Scalzo/Getty)
Andy Borowitz, The New Yorker
Borowitz writes: "Donald J. Trump collapsed from exhaustion after approximately ninety minutes of pretending to be a human being with empathy, the White House doctor has confirmed."
READ MORE
Signature Line From Trump's Speech Is Already a White Nationalist Rallying Cry
Judd Legum, ThinkProgress
Legum writes: "It was a message that was quickly embraced by white nationalists, who paired the phrase with stock photos of white people."
READ MORE
CDC Director Who Traded Tobacco Stock After Appointment Resigns
Brianna Ehley and Sarah Karlin-Smith, Politico
Excerpt: "Dr. Brenda Fitzgerald's resignation comes one day after POLITICO reported that one month into her tenure as CDC director, she bought shares in a tobacco company - the leading cause of preventable death and an issue she had long championed."
READ MORE
A Town of 3,200 Was Flooded With Nearly 21 Million Pain Pills as Addiction Crisis Worsened, Lawmakers Say 
Lindsey Bever, The Washington Post 
Bever writes: "Over the past decade, nearly 21 million prescription painkillers have been shipped to a tiny town in West Virginia, a state where more people have overdosed on opioids and died than in any other in the nation." 
READ MORE
San Juan Mayor Rips FEMA for Ending Puerto Rico Aid 
Morgan Gstalter, The Hill 
Gstalter writes: "San Juan Mayor Carmen Yulín Cruz on Tuesday criticized President Trump and the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) for ending food and water aid to Puerto Rico, saying the island still desperately needs help." 
READ MORE
There Is No Good Reason for the Government to Scan People's Faces as They Leave the Country
Harrison Rudolph, Slate
Rudolph writes: "Why are airport face scans necessary? Is DHS's technology accurate? When will DHS adopt public rules explaining what the program is, how it works, and how it will protect Americans' privacy?"
READ MORE
Volkswagen: The Scandal That Never Ends
Zoya Teirstein, Grist
Teirstein writes: "The German automaker issued yet another apology on Monday, this time for a fraudulent study the company commissioned four years ago."
READ MORE
Become a Fan of RSN on Facebook and Twitter




Comments

Post a Comment

MOST POPULAR

MITCH MCCONNELL, WIFE ELAINE CHAO & DRUG TRAFFICKING

Image
VOTE THE TURTLE OUT OF OFFICE! The war on drugs is an insult to the intelligence of the American people. There are mountains of evidence proving that the biggest importers of harmful, addictive, mind diminishing street drugs is the government. The drug laws that exist do not apply t o the government agencies that bring these substances to our country. They are only designed to keep everyone else from this extremely lucrative business and give the establishment another reason to oppress people. THEY ALSO RUN DRUGS ON THE BITCHES FATHER FLEET OF SHIPS! Top Republican Husband-Wife Duo Caught Funneling Money to Offshore Tax-Free Haven US Department of Transportation Secretary Elaine Chao and her husband Republican Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, recently attended a… THEBLUEWAVECOMMUNITY.COM Mitch McConnell’s Freighted Ties to a Shadowy Shipping Company After drugs were found aboard the  Ping May , a vessel owned by his wife’s f...
Read more

NYT Editorial Board cites POGO

Image
The New York Times  Editorial Board weighed in on Pentagon spending this week POGO Quoted in NYT Editorial Board Opinion The New York Times  Editorial Board weighed in on Pentagon spending this week: "Yet the ground troops who are doing the actual fighting say there is no crisis, according to the analyst Mark Thompson of the Center for Defense Information at the Project on Government Oversight. Other experts say claims of a deteriorating military are exaggerated." Read More: "The Pentagon Is Not a Sacred Cow" Homeland Security Watchdog Finds Government Abuse at Detention Center A series of surprise inspections found immigrant detainees were subject to unnecessary strip searches, waited days for urgent medical care, and were placed in solitary confinement for minor infractions, among other issues. Read more As Clock Ticks Down on Warrantless-Surveillance Authority, Congress Races to the Bottom With just weeks before a controvers...
Read more

Progressive Breakfast: Betsy DeVos Harms Higher Ed More Than K-12 in 2017

Image
MORNING MESSAGE Jeff Bryant Betsy DeVos Harms Higher Ed More Than K-12 in 2017 DeVos calls loudly for K-12 "school choice" and neglects younger students' civil rights, but she has proven far more effective at gutting regulations that protect the rights of college students and college student loan borrowers. Negotiations On DACA Fix Turn Into Standoff Political agenda keeps Trump and Congress apart on a fix for immigrant ‘Dreamers’ “President Trump will convene a bipartisan group of lawmakers Tuesday to discuss immigration at the White House, but leaders remain far apart on a resolution to protect nearly 800,000 young people from deportation. A compromise deal that once appeared within reach — passage of the Dream Act coupled with some enhanced border security measures — now appears to have slipped as the administration backtracks on Trump’s earlier agreement with Democratic leaders and piles on fresh demands. In the balance are young immigrants brought to ...
Read more

Progressive Breakfast: A New Benchmark for Measuring Progress Against Inequality

Image
MORNING MESSAGE Sam Pizzigati A New Benchmark for Measuring Progress Against Inequality Oxfam's eye-popping annual report on the growing gap between the world's richest and poorest offers not just laments, but some attainable strategies that can make societies fairer for all, if our leaders would only follow their advice. Environmental Groups Challenge EPA With Dozens Of Suits Big green readies dozens of lawsuits as only ‘antidote’ for Trump EPA. Washington Examiner: “‘EPA Administrator Scott Pruitt wants to roll back the clock on environmental protections and drag us back decades,’ said Natural Resources Defense Council president Rhea Suh in a note to supporters Saturday. ‘The best antidote to Pruitt’s illegal attacks on our environment? Federal court,’ she said. The group is preparing to file a number of lawsuits against Trump’s EPA, and is asking supporters to increase their financial contributions to support the coming court effort. She claims that the grou...
Read more

POLITICO Massachusetts Playbook: ‘Vote her in next, Massachusetts’ — $15 minimum wage, paid family leave ballot questions to be dropped — KENNEDY joins hunger strike

Image
‘Vote her in next, Massachusetts’ — $15 minimum wage, paid family leave ballot questions to be dropped — KENNEDY joins hunger strike 06/27/2018 07:17 AM EDT By Lauren Dezenski  (ldezenski@politico.com; @LaurenDezenski) with Brent D. Griffiths (bgriffiths@politico.com; @BrentGriffiths) GOOD MORNING, MASSACHUSETTS. NY-14'S MASSACHUSETTS CONNECTION —  A progressive woman of color, facing institutional opposition and a significant fundraising gap, wages a long-shot bid against a 10-term, scandal-free white male incumbent. Sounds a lot like Boston City Councilor  Ayanna Pressley 's campaign to unseat Rep.  Michael Capuano  in Massachusetts' 7th District, right? But those were the contours in New York's 14th District, where 28-year-old  Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez  decisively defeated Rep.  Joe Crowley  in the Democratic primary last night. There's even a Massachusetts connection to the winning campaign — Pressley sent her field dire...
Read more

Progressive Breakfast: Mitch, Chuck and the Big “What If” for DREAMers

Image
MORNING MESSAGE America Reyes Mitch, Chuck and the Big “What If” for DREAMers My name is America, and I am a DREAMer. Mitch McConnell, Chuck Schumer, and their colleagues need to step up and show me, my sisters and everyone who votes that they can lead, or if their promises are just another big, empty "What If" to everyone who believes in the American Dream. Government Reopens, For Now Congress has voted to end the government shutdown. Vox: “After a three-day standoff, Congress has voted to reopen the government — but only for three weeks. In a last-minute decision, Senate Democrats agreed to pass a spending bill that would fund the federal government through February 8, and fund the Children’s Health Insurance Program for six years, with an assurance from Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell to negotiate some kind of immigration deal within that time period and put a bill on the floor for a vote. The House passed the same spending bill a few hours later. Law...
Read more

Progressive Breakfast: Trump’s General Just Announced a New Cold War. Who Will Stop It?

Image
MORNING MESSAGE Richard Eskow Trump’s General Just Announced a New Cold War. Who Will Stop It? Defense Secretary James Mattis announced a dramatic shift in military policy last week, and it threatens to plunge the world into new forms of conflict. Mattis is not a “Mad Dog,” as his nickname suggests. He's a rational and articulate spokesperson for the national security ideology that has dominated American political life since the end of World War II. That’s disturbing in a very different way. WH Floats Demands On Immigration Deal Trump’s Immigration Concession Sets High Price for Democrats. Bloomberg: “The administration Thursday night proposed giving 1.8 million undocumented immigrants brought to the U.S. as children a path to citizenship in exchange for drastically reducing family-based migration, a $25 billion trust fund for a border wall, stepped-up security at ports of entry, and stricter internal enforcement. The framework is, in effect, a bottom line for the ...
Read more