Andy Borowitz | Millions of Americans Demand $130,000 for Not Having Sex With Trump




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Andy Borowitz | Millions of Americans Demand $130,000 for Not Having Sex With Trump 
Millions of Americans clamored to be compensated for abstaining from sex with Trump. (photo: Mait Juriado/Getty Images)
Andy Borowitz, The New Yorker 
Borowitz writes: "Millions of Americans on Wednesday demanded that Donald J. Trump's personal lawyer, Michael D. Cohen, issue them checks in the amount of $130,000 for not having sex with Trump." 
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On Friday Robert Mueller charged 13 Russian nationals and 3 Russian entities with interfering in the 2016 US election. (photo: J. Scott Applewhite/AP)
On Friday Robert Mueller charged 13 Russian nationals and 3 Russian entities with interfering in the 2016 US election. (photo: J. Scott Applewhite/AP)

A Former Russian Troll Speaks: 'It Was Like Being in Orwell's World' 
Anton Troianovski, The Washington Post 
Excerpt: "I arrived there, and I immediately felt like a character in the book '1984' by George Orwell - a place where you have to write that white is black and black is white." 
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Demonstrators attend the March for Action on Gun Violence in Broward County at the U.S. Courthouse in Fort Lauderdale, Florida, U.S., February 17, 2018. (photo: Joe Skipper/Reuters)
Demonstrators attend the March for Action on Gun Violence in Broward County at the U.S. Courthouse in Fort Lauderdale, Florida, U.S., February 17, 2018. (photo: Joe Skipper/Reuters)

Florida Students Are Turning to Gun Control Activism in Wake of Shooting 
Max Greenwood, The Hill 
Greenwood writes: "Thousands gathered in Fort Lauderdale, Fla., on Saturday to mourn the victims of a deadly school shooting and demand action from politicians amid a renewed debate over the nation's gun laws." 
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Trump rally. (photo: David Greedy/Getty Images)
Trump rally. (photo: David Greedy/Getty Images)

Trump Ties Florida Massacre to the FBI's Russia Investigation 
Josh Israel, ThinkProgress 
Israel writes: "President Donald Trump suggested that the FBI failed to stop the horrific Parkland, Florida school shooting because it was 'spending too much time' investigating Russia's involvement in his narrow 2016 election victory." 
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66-year-old Deborah Danner. (photo: unknown)
66-year-old Deborah Danner. (photo: unknown)

NYPD Sergeant "Not Guilty" of Murdering 66-Year-Old Bronx Resident 
Democracy Now! 
Excerpt: "In New York City, NYPD Police Sergeant Hugh Barry was acquitted Thursday on murder charges in the fatal shooting of African-American woman Deborah Danner in October of 2016." 
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Nigerian soldiers have made gains against Boko Haram fighters in recent years. (photo: EPA)
Nigerian soldiers have made gains against Boko Haram fighters in recent years. (photo: EPA)

Nigerian Court Releases 475 Boko Haram Suspects After Years of Detention for Some 
Al Jazeera 
Excerpt: "Nearly 500 Boko Haram suspects have been released by a Nigerian court citing a lack of evidence, with some detainees held for years without charge." 
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Francisco Varga, an urban ranger with Environmental Learning for Kids, helps a young girl learn about marine life at Barr Lake State Park. (photo: GoWild)
Francisco Varga, an urban ranger with Environmental Learning for Kids, helps a young girl learn about marine life at Barr Lake State Park. (photo: GoWild)

Whose Nature? Colorado Leads Push to Democratize the Outdoors. 
Amanda Paulson, The Christian Science Monitor 
Paulson writes: "In theory, Colorado's state and national parks and other public lands are available to all residents. But in reality, many of the state's low-income and minority children grow up feeling as if nature is not a place for them." 
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