Andy Borowitz | Military Refuses to Participate in Trump's Parade, Citing Bone Spurs




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07 February 18 PM
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Andy Borowitz | Military Refuses to Participate in Trump's Parade, Citing Bone Spurs 
President Trump. (photo: Andrew Harrer/Getty)
Andy Borowitz, The New Yorker 
Borowitz writes: "The Pentagon has turned down Donald J. Trump's request for a grand military parade in Washington, D.C., citing a sudden outbreak of bone spurs that would prevent men and women in uniform from participating." 
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The Afghanistan War Will Cost $45 Billion This Year 
Morgan Baskin, Splinter News 
Baskin writes: "After about 16 years in Afghanistan, some experts have estimated that war efforts have cost the U.S. over $1 trillion. Sixteen years, thousands of deaths, and no end in sight." 
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Trump's War Against MS-13 Is Now a War Against Migrant Children Fleeing Gang Violence 
Yvette Cabrera, ThinkProgress 
Cabrera writes: "President Donald Trump has used the infamous MS-13 gang as a justification for his anti-immigrant policies, and made the Salvadoran-American gang public enemy No.1 in his State of the Union speech last month. Now, the next round in Trump's war against the gang will include going to battle against children who are fleeing violence-torn Central American countries and are seeking asylum from the very gang the administration is targeting." 
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A school bus. (photo: Reuters)
A school bus. (photo: Reuters)

'Teachers Are Forced to Take Second Jobs at Walmart': How Fracking and Low Taxes Ravaged Oklahoma's State Budget 
The Economist 
Excerpt: "Low teacher pay and severe budget cuts are driving schools to the brink." 
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Russia Hasn't Disposed of 34 Tons of Plutonium. It's Our Fault. 
Peter Lyons, Politico 
Lyons writes: "Somewhere in Russia, 34 tons of surplus weapons-grade plutonium - enough material to make about 10,000 weapons - are awaiting disposal." 
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'I Think People Are Really Disgusted' - Quentin Tarantino Faces Hollywood Backlash 
Rory Carroll, Guardian UK 
Carroll writes: "The film-maker has been accused of negligence by Uma Thurman, fetishisation by Rose McGowan and audio has surfaced of him defending Roman Polanski, leading to questions from the industry." 
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Ticking Time Bomb of Mercury Hidden Beneath Earth's Permafrost 
Brandon Specktor, CBS News 
Specktor writes: "According to a new study published Feb. 5 in the journal Geophysical Research Letters, there may be more than 15 million gallons (58 million liters) of mercury buried in the permafrost of the Northern Hemisphere - roughly twice as much mercury as can be found in the rest of Earth's soils, ocean and atmosphere combined." 
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